My family: All or nothing
Being an only child has meant that I have spent lots of time with older family members throughout my life. I have been so lucky that I have such a close network of amazing people who care and love me like I care and love for them. In my immediate family, that I see on a day to day basis, there are six of us. These six include: my Mum, Dad, Nanny, Bumpa, my Uncle and me. For many, the name 'Bumpa' will make no sense but it was how I used to pronounce 'Grandpa' when I was little! I'm so grateful that I have such a strong connection with all of these people and I can trust them.
Recently, there has been some drama with my other grandparents. I know that many people suffer with family issues and I never really used to understand that until now. As this set of grandparents don't live close by, it is hard to see them as often as my other set who only live about 15 mins away. I'm not completely sure how the issues arose but, for a long time, I believed that it was my fault for being anti-social that I never made a true connection with them. By playing on my computer, whilst at their house, I was finding enjoyment in a situation that I otherwise felt boring. Grown ups talking was boring. Listening to replayed conversations was boring. I just wanted to do something that I knew I loved. I'm still not sure whether this was wrong of me.
Long story short, we don't speak to them anymore. I'm still not 100% sure why but I do know that they blame my Dad for some things that have happened over the years - they are my Dad's parents. Sadly, I can't remember the last time we spoke. This situation has escalated past the point of forgive and forget. Some very nasty things have been said that are hurtful. I haven't been able to speak to them about how I'm getting on and what my future plans are. If I'm truthfully honest, the reason why I am writing this post is because I got very upset about this about a week ago. I started to blame myself for some of the events, even though a naive 8 year old Laurel wouldn't have understood that being slightly anti-social on the laptop would cause her grandparents to think differently of her. A word that just sticks in my head that they called me over the phone, to my dad, was, 'spoilt'. As someone who regretfully cares about what other people think, this hit hard, really hard. I think that it was worse because the label came from a family member and I had only ever had positive experiences from my family, believing that they would always love and support me.
Through the hard times that I have had with my grandparents recently, it has shown that the true love of family can stay strong regardless of whether some members are connected or not. Although I am not sure whether this bond will ever be made up again, I hope that one day we can put our issues aside and move on. I'd really like to one day move on.
xox
My family: All or nothing
Being an only child has meant that I have spent lots of time with older family members throughout my life. I have been so lucky that I have such a close network of amazing people who care and love me like I care and love for them. In my immediate family, that I see on a day to day basis, there are six of us. These six include: my Mum, Dad, Nanny, Bumpa, my Uncle and me. For many, the name 'Bumpa' will make no sense but it was how I used to pronounce 'Grandpa' when I was little! I'm so grateful that I have such a strong connection with all of these people and I can trust them.
Recently, there has been some drama with my other grandparents. I know that many people suffer with family issues and I never really used to understand that until now. As this set of grandparents don't live close by, it is hard to see them as often as my other set who only live about 15 mins away. I'm not completely sure how the issues arose but, for a long time, I believed that it was my fault for being anti-social that I never made a true connection with them. By playing on my computer, whilst at their house, I was finding enjoyment in a situation that I otherwise felt boring. Grown ups talking was boring. Listening to replayed conversations was boring. I just wanted to do something that I knew I loved. I'm still not sure whether this was wrong of me.
Long story short, we don't speak to them anymore. I'm still not 100% sure why but I do know that they blame my Dad for some things that have happened over the years - they are my Dad's parents. Sadly, I can't remember the last time we spoke. This situation has escalated past the point of forgive and forget. Some very nasty things have been said that are hurtful. I haven't been able to speak to them about how I'm getting on and what my future plans are. If I'm truthfully honest, the reason why I am writing this post is because I got very upset about this about a week ago. I started to blame myself for some of the events, even though a naive 8 year old Laurel wouldn't have understood that being slightly anti-social on the laptop would cause her grandparents to think differently of her. A word that just sticks in my head that they called me over the phone, to my dad, was, 'spoilt'. As someone who regretfully cares about what other people think, this hit hard, really hard. I think that it was worse because the label came from a family member and I had only ever had positive experiences from my family, believing that they would always love and support me.
Through the hard times that I have had with my grandparents recently, it has shown that the true love of family can stay strong regardless of whether some members are connected or not. Although I am not sure whether this bond will ever be made up again, I hope that one day we can put our issues aside and move on. I'd really like to one day move on.
xox
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I loved this post! I am also a only child! One set of grandparents passed away when I was young and I am kind of close with the ones left but apart from that I don't feel like I am much family. I am aunties and cousins on my dad my dads side but we never see them and on my mums side we used to see them at Christmas but they started to ignore me for no reason! Not saying hi or bye to me, so I stopped going! I defneitely feel like I can relate to this sorry here x great post
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Thank you! Aw, I'm so sorry to hear that! Sometimes we only need the close-network of our family but, yes, it is disheartening when your wider family feels distant!
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